broken hearts anonymous

“That’s the secret to life… replace one worry with another…” Charles M. Schulz, Charlie Brown

Sitting here thinking about where to start this particular blog, I am taken back to a time a few years ago after my boyfriend ended our relationship. That in itself sounds bad enough, but coupled with the fact that he didn’t even tell me we were done, he just stopped calling…plus, i found out that he already had another girlfriend…Oh man, were my thoughts in overdrive.

There were a million questions darting around in my head, I played out imaginary conversations with him where I told him off, and sometimes I would replay romantic moments between us, but the worse torture I put myself through was the mental images I conjured up of the intimate moments he must be sharing with his new girlfriend. Does this sound familiar?

I wish that I could tell you that I immediately implemented the techniques I am about to explain, and I felt instantly better. The truth is, though, it took me about 6 months to get out of my funk and another 6 months before I found and used the techniques. Bad news for me, but it’s great news for you because you’re not going to have to wait. Here goes…

First let’s talk about extending the time between these unwelcome thoughts. The easiest way to do this is to live in the moment. Simply put, keep your focus on whatever you are doing.  When you’re driving, concentrate on the road or listen to the radio. If you are reading, fixate on the characters and storyline.  Get the idea?

Okay, focusing on our present moment will work for a while, but you’re going to find yourself in quiet moments when there is nothing else occupying your mind and time; this is when the unwanted thoughts or visions may creep in…here’s what you can do:

Our favorite method is called ” picture, pop, replace“

This one you have to work out before the thoughts occur so that you can implement it when they come barging through the door.

First, think of the thought or vision you don’t want and place it in a balloon.

Next, imagine holding a pin and popping the balloon.

Lastly, put a replacement thought of something that makes you happy in a new balloon.

Example:

I think of my ex

I put the scene in a balloon and imagine a very large pin popping it.

Then I immediately make myself think of the time my friend accidentally slammed a door into my head. It makes me laugh because the whole incident was crazy…my reactions, her reactions…

There’s a couple of reasons this method works:

It makes you purposely stop yourself from spiraling further into thoughts you don’t want and by bringing in a new thought, you’re forced to re-live that moment and, on a good day, that thought will lead you to another funny thought, and so on…

Try this out and let us know how it worked for you.

xxx

n