broken hearts anonymous

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. Henry David Thoreau

You’ve heard of the ‘unsent letter’, right? You know, the one where you tell your ex off, or write down all of your feelings about how they treated you, so you can get it off your chest and finally have that elusive thing we call closure? If you have written an unsent letter, did you actually get the closure you were searching for? Not fully, right?

When you write this type of letter, you are reviewing and reliving the past; so in fact, you’re dredging up the hurt and pain all over again. Writing the letter is great for getting those negative thoughts out of your head and down on paper, because it’s actually one of the first small steps towards moving past the pain.

Ahhh, so now I bet you want hear about the second step, don’t you? It’s a really fun exercise to do. We call it, “A Note From My Future Self”. Here’s what you do: Get comfortable at your desk, put on some music, light a candle, get out your coolest stationary and your favorite pen (or if you just can’t be bothered with all that, grab a piece of paper out of the printers tray and find a pen or crayon).

Imagine yourself 2 years from now. What’s your environment? Who is in your life? What events have transpired? Where do you live and work? What do you look like? What are your triumphs and successes? Now as this person in the future, who knows all the wonderful changes that occurred during the 2 years, write a note to your present self to let them see the amazing life ahead.

If you knew how wonderful your life is going to unfold, wouldn’t you feel light as a feather and move about as if life were grand today? You have the power to create your dazzling future.

Our sample note…

Dearest Nathalie,

My first inclination, as I think of you there in the bedroom crying so hard that your breath stops, is to put my arms around you and hug away all of the pain you’re feeling right now. I hate that you’re having to go through this anguish and turmoil, so I am writing this note to let you see that it isn’t all in vain.

As I write this, I am sitting on the rooftop garden of my flat in London. Yep, that’s right. It took a few years longer than expected, but I am finally living here and it is so much more than anticipated. The kids are in a wonderful school and are getting on brilliantly with our new lifestyle and the friends they’ve made.

Do you remember that screenplay you wrote with Danielle while you were in Paris?  well…it’s in post-production right now. As a matter of fact, the man who is responsible for airing the vitiligo documentary (oh yeah, that’s how you move here) on BBC is one of the producers and, well, we’ve been ’seeing’ each other for quite some time.

He’s amazing, Nathalie. Imagine each of the little things that attracted you to the other men who have been in your life (friends and lovers) and put them into one person…that’s him. The relationship isn’t always a smooth ride, but I love that too. Because I am finally in a place where I am not afraid of being abandoned,  when we have a disagreement I don’t back down so as to keep the peace; we fight. And guess what. We make up and go on. You really should start working working on the fear of abandonment thing now, so as to shorten that process for me

I know you understand the concept of synchronicity. You see it happening in your life all of the time, but I want you to go one step further. Whenever you are feeling alone, or uncertain about how things could possibly turn out well, just KNOW that life will always work it out. Someone leaves your life…2 new people enter it. One of your classes gets cut…another exciting one is given to you. When it feels like your life is stuck in neutral…an adventure unfolds.

Do me a favor and post this somewhere you will see it every day:

Every night someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.
At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.
The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.
A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don’t like you.
There are at least two people in this world that you would die for.
You mean the world to someone.
Someone that you don’t even know exists loves you.
When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.
When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look again.
Always remember the compliments you received. Forget about the rude remarks.

Wipe your tears, honey. Get up off that bed and run towards the future…only look back to learn from your mistakes or to enjoy all of the beautiful moments.

big hugs,
Nathalie xx